A very amusing phone call today

So, I got a really interesting phone call today. It went like this:

Me: Hello?....Hello?...<Several moments of silence before...>

Them: Hello? I'm looking for Petry. (Pronounced like a tree with cats and dogs growing on it, rather than like the dish.)

Me: <Warily> This is Mr. Petry. Who is this?

Them: I'm calling from Windows Tech Support. You computer runs a Windows operating system. Your computer has been downloading illegal Tojan files. We've tried to contact you. Have you not received any of our warnings?

Me: OK. I'm a computer programmer by trade, and this doesn't sound like a legitimate phone call. So...Did you just hang up?

So, the purpose for sharing this is that it seems like a time to remind various relatives who might not be as technically savvy of a few things to look out for when you get calls like this and how to spot a fake quickly.

1. It's a small detail, but the technical support you're likely to contact about a computer issue is either the manufacturer, or Microsoft tech support.
2. Those support desks will almost never call you, except as part of some court mandated program to inform you of something like a settlement. Support is already one of the biggest sunk costs that these guys have to handle, so they're just not going to proactively scan everyone's computer for them. It's just impractical. It might be also illegal, but I leave that to the more legally learned among you.
3. If you were to be called about something like this, it would be from your anti-virus company. You do have anti-virus software, right?
4. If you challenge them, and they're legitimate, they'll actually identify themselves, and give you some real information. They'll probably also start the conversation by telling you that the call may be recorded for quality assurance, or training purposes. Really, it's so that they can refer to the call logs if you later sue because their advice blows up your hard drive, but maybe also for what they say.

So, if you get a call like this, don't be shy about asking them to identify themselves, and to give you a better idea about what's really going on. Chances are, it's a fake, and as soon as you challenge them, they'll hang up. If they stay on the line, they're either brazen and confident, or the real deal. But I'd still bet on brazen rather than real.