A few things that I've learned as a result of all of this...
There are a few things that I've learned as a result of all of this craziness regarding having a kid with the kinds of problems that Ted* is facing. Of course, I don't know how much of this is "I'm a first time parent, and what I'm seeing is the same thing that other first time parents see," and how much is, "My kid has some complications coming his way, and I need to figure out how to deal with making that not suck for him." This means that some of this may not be very profound, but it might also help let people know where I am, and to a lesser extent, where Amy is in all of this. Being a fan of Cracked, and list-based information in general, I thought I might share some of that information in the form a list.
1. Bad things happening to you is a normal condition in life.
That's not to say that life is a veil of misery and pain. However, sometimes, stuff just gets messed up. Your car stops working, it rains when you'd planned to go to the zoo, or your kid has a congenital heart defect. All of this stuff happens, and when it does, we all go through the typical human "crap, things just got bad," emotional response. That's natural, but you also have to recognize what's going on, realize that it's the normal human condition, and move on to dealing with stuff quickly. That immediate, panic-fueled rush when you first hear the bad stuff isn't helping, unless the bad stuff is a tiger that's about to eat you and you have to run away. Of course, the flip side of all of this is that good things happening to you is also a normal condition of life, and often, the bad stuff and the good stuff are directly related.
2. This moment is temporary.
When you first have that moment of bad stuff, and you have that normal, emotional response, you have to keep in mind that the panic, the anxiety, the anger and the grief are temporary. Teddy* is always going to have this problem with his heart, barring some amazing medical advances. However, that doesn't mean that we're always going to be thinking about that. It will become "normal" for us, and it will always be "normal" for him. Find that moment after the panic when you can, and get on with dealing with it.
3. There's always something else you should be doing, and some of that is stuff for you.
Ever since we've found out that we were going to be having a child, there's been a ton of stuff to do. You have to get a room ready. You have to start looking at what you're going to do about child care (hey, thanks Mom and Dad!). You have to learn all sorts of stuff about what having a kid means, and, in our case, what his heart trouble means both short and long term. That being said, you still have to take the time to relax, to do the things that keep you sane, and that make you happy.
*Name still not official. It may or may not change.
1. Bad things happening to you is a normal condition in life.
That's not to say that life is a veil of misery and pain. However, sometimes, stuff just gets messed up. Your car stops working, it rains when you'd planned to go to the zoo, or your kid has a congenital heart defect. All of this stuff happens, and when it does, we all go through the typical human "crap, things just got bad," emotional response. That's natural, but you also have to recognize what's going on, realize that it's the normal human condition, and move on to dealing with stuff quickly. That immediate, panic-fueled rush when you first hear the bad stuff isn't helping, unless the bad stuff is a tiger that's about to eat you and you have to run away. Of course, the flip side of all of this is that good things happening to you is also a normal condition of life, and often, the bad stuff and the good stuff are directly related.
2. This moment is temporary.
When you first have that moment of bad stuff, and you have that normal, emotional response, you have to keep in mind that the panic, the anxiety, the anger and the grief are temporary. Teddy* is always going to have this problem with his heart, barring some amazing medical advances. However, that doesn't mean that we're always going to be thinking about that. It will become "normal" for us, and it will always be "normal" for him. Find that moment after the panic when you can, and get on with dealing with it.
3. There's always something else you should be doing, and some of that is stuff for you.
Ever since we've found out that we were going to be having a child, there's been a ton of stuff to do. You have to get a room ready. You have to start looking at what you're going to do about child care (hey, thanks Mom and Dad!). You have to learn all sorts of stuff about what having a kid means, and, in our case, what his heart trouble means both short and long term. That being said, you still have to take the time to relax, to do the things that keep you sane, and that make you happy.
*Name still not official. It may or may not change.
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